You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
