So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
