Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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