Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
