who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just google imaged poop.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
