Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
