I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
