i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
