its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
