So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
