im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
