Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
