i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
