when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
