Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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