alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
