sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
