Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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