Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
