I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
