Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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