i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
