I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize