he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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