Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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