Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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