I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
