This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
