Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
