My sheets look like a crime scene.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
