I must be too annoying 4 u.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
