Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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