We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it because I queefed?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
