when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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