I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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