I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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