I murdered the dance floor call the cops
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
