I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
