dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
