Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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