lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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