I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize