i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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