Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
