How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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