just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
