he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
