I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
