How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
