hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
