i came on her dog
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
A+ Viking dick
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
