How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
