good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
