God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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