My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
