come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
