I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
