when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
