All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
