Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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