mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
