chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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