what if every blade of grass was a penis?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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