his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
